AllahumaSaliAla Sayyidina Muhammad SalalahuAlaihiWaSalaam
Islam says, make everything at home. In Islamic homes there should be enough room for parents, small children, older children; girls, boys, guests and patients. One important thing for Muslims is to help neighbours look after their ill persons and new babies. Births should always be at home in lslam, helped by midwifes. Without paying anything, neighbours were doing everything and they were happy to help one another with the birth of children. Now, everyone who has a baby is running to hospital.
Islam even has rules for the conception of children and a man who is married must keep those rules. When be sleeps with his wife, he must not be unclean, as unclean people are cursed. We believe and know that any generation conceived uncleanly will have something wrong with them – if not physically, something bad will affect their personality; particularly when a drunk person sleeps with his wife. That will have an effect on the characteristics of the coming generation, a bad effect on their personality. Perhaps a wilder, unmerciful, unjust generation will come which has no respect for parents or elders. As a punishment for people sleeping together when they are drunk, the children who are born will be against their parents, against the community and against humanity and against every rule of their Lord, Allah Almighty. They will not care about heavenly rules or take an interest in anything. We are in these times now. Therefore, it is important to be clean bodily and mentally, not to come to your wife in anger or in bad temper, hungry or sad. For either wife or husband to be in such a condition is not a good thing. Each person must be pleased and happy and acceptable to one another.
Each time a man asks to sleep with his wife, it is good manners for Muslims to say: “O my lady! I accept you as my wife, as before in the divine presence. Any hurt I cause you, please forgive me, and I will forgive you if you hurt me. I am happy with you as my wife and you are happy with me as your husband. If Allah Almighty gives us a generation, may He bless him.” Then, the person should give Sadaqa, i.e. a charity, before sleeping together and the lady should try to make herself very beautiful for her husband. Nowadays, ladies are only making themselves beautiful when they are in public, not in private or for their husbands at home. It is a divine order for ladies to make themselves beautiful for their husbands in their home, in their bedrooms. They must make themselves pretty with pleasure and with happiness, so that their husbands will not look at anyone else. Then, when they come together and sleep together, they are blessed. They must pray two rakats before and ask … (tape switched off) … given a present to make her happy. When she is happy and has been given her husband’s love from his heart. then she may give her love from her heart. Allah Almighty then blesses that meeting and that marriage, and a good generation with excellent qualities will be born. That was the command for marriage in Islam, but people have forgotten it now.
There is no better (way) than Islam. It is such a beautiful arrangement which blesses families, because Islam hates dirtiness, outward and inner dirtiness. Cleanliness and coming together in these happy ways will bring a generation from Paradise. A generation which would make the world a Paradise – calm, gentle. Blessed people walking on earth, because Islam takes care of everything from conception.
At the time of the birth of children midwifes were used: We know that babies cannot be in their mother’s womb for a year or more – some of them perhaps little more than nine months, but nine months and ten days is the normal length of a pregnancy. And when Almighty Allah (finishes) the baby’s food in the womb of its mother, than the baby will be born. Islam is strongly against any interference which would hurt the child or the mother, particularly caesarean section. When a woman is ready to give birth and their friends would come to them and say: “Bismillah, Bismillah. Bismillah, O my Lord, let him come easily, safely, for him, for her. O our Lord, give way. Bismillah, Bismillah, Bismillah. Allahumma salla ‘ala sayyiddina Muhammad. Allahumma salla ‘ala sayyiddina Muhammad, for the sake of Your beloved one. O my Lord, give way. O my Lord, Bismillah.” Then, as they would say this, the angels would bring the child out and the baby is born in the position of sajdah on his hands. We do not believe that the baby should see knifes in front of his eyes. It is a big crime against the baby – to show it first thing a knife. A knife is a killer and should not be the child’s first vision in this world. This is how the world will be destroyed. No one allows themselves to wait for the birth-pains to come nowadays, they can’t bear them and people themselves are asking for caesarean.
On the day of the birth the family should give Sadaqa, i.e. charity, and all the people and neighbours will come, to look and be happy and to join and share in the happiness of the family, to help them, to bring gifts, help the mother, help the father.
Breast-milk should not be given to the baby until after three adhans have been called, i.e. for at least six hours. The baby must listen to three adhans being called. According to traditional custom pomegranate juice is first given to a child. One seed is placed between the child’s lips and squeezed, so that the juice goes into his mouth. Then after the three adhans have been called, the mother is able to feed the child. This is like a fast, to make the new baby cry. As he cries, his lungs open and everything in his body start to work. A new baby is not yet accustomed to the atmosphere of the world and he must wait for the adhan to be called at least three times – perhaps ten hours, perhaps eight hours. Then, when he has breathed outside before and cried and his lungs are working and his blood is circulating and the digestive system starts to work, he may be fed. A new baby does not need milk very quickly. His digestive system is not yet ready. It is foolish of new methods to give the child to the mother to take milk immediately. It doesn’t help anything, but is harming. A new baby must at least fast. Professors may think about this and they may say that it is allright. Islam brought the best method for the child to function and come in contact with a new atmosphere. Also, it is important to wait for the mother’s breast milk to come, because her body is so tired. The baby should be given quickly to her to hold and then she must rest. At that time everything is upside down and abnormal for the baby and the mother. A new one is landing on the earth and it is important to give rest to both of them. Let the baby cry. Blessings come on crying. Mercy comes for him and his mother. In Islam, everything is perfect.
Caesarean section is prohibited and to induce the child to be born quickly by injection is also Haram in Islam. It is better until the divine order comes and the baby is ready to be born. Each child should be born on their forehead, bowing to their Lord. The devil teaches people to make caesarean section with knifes, not to allow the child to be born in Sajdah.
On the seventh day after the birth the Adhan is called in the child’s right ear and the Iqamat in the left ear, and Surah “Qu huwallahu ahad” is recited and the child called and his name given – whatever name is inspired to the hearts of the parents. One of his seven names must be from the heart of the mother or father. After that, a sheep may be killed for a girl and two for a boy, but if they don’t have enough money for this, one is enough even for a boy. This meal is then shared to neighbours, friends and relatives, and the poor. It is a traditional custom not to break the bones of the sheep, so that it must be cooked whole and people will eat it like that. Then, again according to our custom, the bones are taken and buried and we say “Bismillah ar Rahman ar Rahim”: This is so that the jinn also take benefit from those bones. Allah Almighty is creating Risq, or provision, for them too. All the neighbours should come with their gifts and their charity and join in that happy occasion.
For forty days after the birth of the child, until her cleanliness returns, the mother should keep herself separate and not have a relationship with the father up to the end of that period. Then after that period she must take care not to feed her baby when she is unclean, i.e. when she has not got Wudhu. She must quickly make herself clean and then she is able to feed the child. This is so that nothing will go wrong with the personality of the child. The baby needs his mother’s milk, but when it is given clean, the child will be more peaceful and rested, the milk will be more satisfying and the child will enjoy it one hundred percent and not give trouble, One reason why babies give trouble to their mothers is because they are not given clean milk. Even if they were able to drink one big pot full, they would not be satisfied, but if they are saying “Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim” and feeding the child when they have Wudhu, the milk will be blessed, the baby happy and it will sleep peacefully.
(Der Morgenstern Mai-August 1992) – London
~ Sulthanul Awliya Shykh Nazim Al Haqqani Q.S.